Take Care with...

When I was 11 years old my grandmother died in Haiti. I never got to go to her funeral and sometimes it creeps up on me when I'm not looking. I've been to funerals...thats not the problem. I've been to wakes and receptions so I'm used to the whole funeral procession you could say. What I'm not used to yet is the grief and the skill it takes to get through those first few days or weeks or months after the death of a loved one. Today my mother gave me advice on how to deal with tough news and things in general. DEAL. Some people turn inward for support and others are the opposite. I've dealt with these tough situations by turning to my family. Disfunctional as we may be we always come together in the time of crisis. Praying together bonds us with each other and the one that we've lost.

Usually the "death proceedings," go as follows. The immediate family of the dead take in mass amounts of phone calls from friends and family offering their condolences. The person has one full day to grieve and think about their loved one. Then they spend most of the week helping to make prepartions for the wake, funeral, and....reception. The first two parts are ordinary to me now but the reception always has me thinking. Many Haitian people offer a big reception for everyone who came to the funeral mass. This consists of at least three courses and drinks. This is so strange to me because the people who attend the funeral expect those who've lost their loved ones to spend even more money on filling their bellies when I expect those who've come to support to sponsor such an event. This is a time for people to be together and to share stories of their common bond. At least that is what I consider it to be.

A.P.